rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
smell my finger.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
