Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Randomize
