we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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