Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
