I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Randomize
