Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Randomize
