she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
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