If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Randomize
