I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Randomize
