i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize