you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
Randomize