you win again, gameday.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
