dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
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