if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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