Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
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