I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
He better not be in your backpack
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
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