I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
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