Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Just cropdusted the office
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Randomize