If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
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