We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize
