Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
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