im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
