I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Randomize
