it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
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