I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
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