R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
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