Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
