I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
its liver damage thursday
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
