sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
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