She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
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