sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I AM VODKA MAN
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
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