So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
I'm both gender and math confused
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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