My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
