Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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