Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
