Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize