yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
