hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
