He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
