im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Just invented taco cereal.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
