I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
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