Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Randomize
