I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Randomize
