your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
