I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
where are you?
Hypothermia
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
