Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
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