Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
