apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Randomize