Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
