The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Randomize
