Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize
