Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
So vagazzling was a success
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
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