My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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